


But Words Will Never Hurt Me

by littlefirefly31



Series: Kink/Request Fics [13]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst, Attempt at Humor, Badass!Christian Kane, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, bottom!Jensen, serious angst, top!Jared
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-21
Updated: 2014-06-21
Packaged: 2018-02-05 15:31:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1823437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlefirefly31/pseuds/littlefirefly31
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: There's a new guest on set and his charismatic charm wins over just about anyone. Especially Jared. But Jensen isn't fooled and his heart breaks a little everyday as he watches the love of his life get closer to another that isn't him. Jared has been in love with Jensen for years but wrongly assumed he would never get the chance to romance the seemingly straight guy so decides to move on, oblivious to the hurt he causes his best friend. Jared and the omc start to date and the relationship between J2 start to go downhill thanks to omc. Christian Kane is the only friend Jensen trusted with his secret. Jared is the first and only man Jensen's ever loved and like any good, protective friend, Kane isn't just gonna stand by and watch his friend suffer.<br/>Time for Kane to intervene and knock some sense into Jared...literally</p>
            </blockquote>





	But Words Will Never Hurt Me

**Author's Note:**

> oops i wrote 6000 words...

Jensen promised himself that he would never, under any circumstances, cry over a broken heart. It was his one rule, his sacred rule. Jensen made the rule when Mack came home sobbing after her boyfriend dumped her. Jensen held his sister and swore that no one would ever make him cry like that.

That was before Jared Padalecki.

*

The first time Jensen met Jared, his knee was bouncing and smiled at Jensen with innocent nervousness. Jensen introduced himself, and after only a few short sentences the two of them connected on a level Jensen had never experienced.

Jared was funny and bouncy and even when it was 3 am after a long day of shooting, Jared beamed at everyone. If it weren't for Jared, Jensen would have quit the show a long time ago.

When Jensen realized he was gay, he'd debated between telling Jared and keeping it to himself. Jared would be great about it, like always, and he would say  "Hey, it's cool, man. You never have to worry about me ditching you because of who you love. I'm irresistible, I know, so if you ever fall in love with me, I get it."

And then Jensen would laugh because falling in love with Jared would be like Dean loving Sam. And Jensen had learned that falling in love with the straight guy never turned out well. "If only you could ever be that lucky," Jensen would respond. And then they'd get takeout and watch a movie and nothing would change.

Jensen never told him.

*

People called Sam and Dean the heart of the show. And their relationship was only as beautiful as it was because of Jensen and Jared's undeniable chemistry. Jensen liked to rub their brotherly friendship in everyone's faces, because their friendship was obviously the best. They became JaredandJensen instead of Jared and Jensen.

Jensen and Jared spent every minute together. If they weren't filming 16 hours a day, then you could find them at a bar playing pool or laughing about alternate scenes for Supernatural.

Jared bought a house for his dogs, and whined pitifully about the empty space for weeks. His solution was the same idea Jensen hadn't when Jared first started to complain.

"You can move in with me!" Jared declared. It wasn't a question because Jared and Jensen both knew Jensen would say yes.

So Jensen moved in with Jared.

The fan girls decided that this _absolutely and unconditionally_ meant Jared and Jensen were madly in love and fucking behind the scenes. Jared thought it was hilarious and Jensen's cheeks pinked when he thought about having sex with Jared. Jensen really should have known where this was going.

It was raining, and Jared was half sleeping against Jensen’s shoulder and completely soaking. The rainwater seeped into Jensen's clothes and he didn't even realize it until he listened to Jared's sleepy noises.

Jensen had fallen in love with the straight guy.

 

****

 

Being in love with a straight guy _sucked._ Especially if the straight guy was the most beautiful man to have ever lived and spent 16 hours a day with Jared.

The first time Jared saw Jensen, he completely lost his train of thought and became as nervous as a 6th grader with his first crush. Jensen probably thought Jared was the biggest dork ever. But Jensen was sweet and patient and wanted to be Jared's friend even though Jared was a spaz.

Jared fell a tiny bit in love with him that day.

And Jared thought it was an innocent crushed and brushed it off. Anyone with eyeballs would get butterflies when they saw Jensen's perfect face. He had big green eyes that were seductive and friendly at the same time, and a shy, genuine smile that Jared tried to bring to Jensen's face as often as possible. He draped himself over Jensen constantly, trying to be as close to his friend-crush as possible. And Jensen never pushed him off or looked uncomfortable the way he looked when anyone else hugged him.

Jared was fiercely protective, and if anyone even _looked_ suggestively at Jensen, warning bells went off in his head and Jared wanted to scream, _mind, mine, mine!_

Even for Jared, though, that might be a bit much.

"Wanna go get drinks when we're done filming?" Jared asked.

Jensen smirked. "You asking me out on a date, Padalecki?"

Jared switched to his default mode of turning it into a joke. "You're just so pretty, Jenny, I can't help myself."

"Fuck you, don't call me Jenny." Jensen pushed Jared lightly. "And I want you to remember that I'm only doing this because I feel sorry for you given your complete lack of friends and social skills."

"Yeah, whatever." Jared rolled his eye. "You love me, Ackles."

"You wish."

And yeah, he did. Jared wished that every day.

*

In retrospect, asking Jensen to move in with him was probably a bad idea. It meant that Jared would see Jensen adorably sleepy in the morning and stumbling out of the shower, water dripping down his chest and dressed in nothing but a towel. It was Jared's first attempt in wooing Jensen, or the Get-Jensen-To-Turn-Gay-And-Love-Me plan.

His second attempt was getting up extra early and cutting his workout short so Jensen would always have coffee waiting for him.

His third was stocking the cabinets with all of Jensen's weird healthy food. And maybe wooing a straight guy was a horrible idea because it’s not like he actually had a change with Jensen, but Jared was an idiot in love and continued to woo.

Jensen accepted all his acts of love with big smiles and easy hugs, but every action spoke of a close friendship and not of someone who wants to hook up with Jared. Or be with him in any sense other than friendship. Jared would take one kiss if he didn’t think Jensen would freak out and hate him.

That’s the worst part. Jensen _wouldn’t_ freak out and hate him. But Jared and Jensen would have to keep living knowing that Jared was madly in love with Jensen and Jensen didn’t reciprocate his feelings.

*

“Have you met the new guest star?” Jensen asked.

No, Jared hadn’t. “What’s his slash her name?”  
“His name is Andrew. Though I hear he goes by Andy.” Jensen scrunched up his nose and Jared remembered how much he hated boy names that ended in y. Jensen was weird, and Jared had accepted that a long time ago. He loved Jensen more for it.

“Well I’ll introduce myself,” Jared decided.

Jensen snickered. “I’m surprised you weren’t the first. You’re sort of our welcome wagon.”  
“Shut up, I don’t have all the time in the world to be friendly,” Jared retorted.

“I know. I’m the only one in the world that knows how much of an asshole you really are.” Jensen shot him an affectionate smile and Jared’s heart kicked into overdrive.

Then Jensen sent a flirty look at the PA that brought him his coffee and Jared remembered just how straight his friend was.

*

Jared’s new strategy was Get-Over-Jensen-As-Fast-As-Possible plan. It sucked being in love with a guy that didn’t love him, and Jared didn’t really feel like suffering through that anymore. When Jensen was filming a solo scene between him and a vampire, Jared met the guest star.

“Hi,” someone said behind him. Jared turned and saw a young man, maybe 25 years old. He was handsome, with blue eyes and dark hair. Nowhere _near_ as handsome as Jensen, but not ugly. “I’m Andrew.”  
“Hi,” Jared stuck out his hand. “Jared Padalecki.”  
“I know, I’m a huge fan,” Andrew blurted. He blushed prettily and Jared chuckled slightly.

“How could you not be?” Jared joked. “Come on, sit. I’m watching Jen film.” He patted the seat beside him on the picnic table.

“He lets you call him Jen?” Andrew asked. “Sounds girly.”

“Jen let’s me call him whatever I want,” Jared replied. “He’d skin anyone alive if they called him Jen or Jenny, but me, no.” Jared smirked over at his friend filming, who glanced up at Jared and grinned back. “I can call Jensen whatever I want.”

“You guys have a good relationship,” Andrew said awkwardly.

Jared knew what was coming next. “We’re just friends,” Jared assured. “Good friends, but there’s nothing going on there. The fangirls have active imaginations.” _But god I wish there was something going on between us_.

“They certainly are graphic in their imaginations. I don’t know if you’ve seen some of the fanart…”  
“Trust me, I’ve seen too _much_ fan art,” Jared replied. “But I like sticking it on Jensen’s trailer and bedroom ‘cuz it embarrasses him.” Jared felt bubbly when he saw Jensen’s blush and fond exasperation. “He hates it.”

“I’ll bet.” Andrew sat next to Jared and smiled shyly. “I wish I had a friend like that.”  
“Stick around,” Jared offered. “Jensen’s really friendly. His growly nature is all just a front.”  
“I hope you’re not talking about me.” Jensen popped up behind Jared. “You’re going to damage my reputation as a badass.”  
“I was just telling Andy that it’s amazing you play Dean so well when you’re a giant teddy bear,” Jared teased.

Jensen punched his shoulder. “You get the couch tonight, Padalecki.”

“Lover’s spat!” A PA shouted.

Jensen snorted and took the seat beside Jared. “Buy me a steak and I’ll forgive you.”

“Deal, Jennybean.” Jared slung a casual arm around his shoulders and then remembered Andrew. “Oh, Jenny, you know Andy. We were just talking.”

Jensen smiled. “Are you sure you want to hang out with Sasquatch here? His brain stopped developing at 15.”  

“Jerk.”  
“Bitch.” Jensen put a warm hand on Jared’s knee and his whole body lit up with the contact.

Oh yeah. Jared _really_ needed to get over Jensen.

 *** 

It’s not that Jensen doesn’t like Andrew. Because he does like Andrew. Jensen doesn’t like that _Jared_ likes Andrew. Jensen sees the way Andrew—no wait, _Andy_ —looks at Jared. Jared thinks it’s cute that a fan looks at him with hero worship. Jensen wants to knock Andrew unconscious for staring at Jared with hearts in his eyes. Jared belonged to Jensen. The only thing keeping Jensen going was that Jared was _straight_ and there’s no way that Andrew—Jensen was not going to call him Andy—could steal Jared away.

But the looks the two exchanged… it was like they’d forgotten Jensen was there. Jared used to look at Jensen that way. Everyone would have to repeat themselves because Jensen and Jared were so wrapped him in each other. But now Andrew and Jared were just curled up and happy with each other, and Jensen wanted to kill someone.

“Everyone loves him, Chris,” Jensen ranted. “’Oh, Andy’s _sooo_ perfect! Oh, Andy is just a _darling_! Oh, I hope he comes back!’ It makes me sick. I want Dean to shove a knife in Aiden’s throat.”  
“Aiden is who again?” Chris asked.

Jensen sighed into the telephone. “The character Andrew is playing. I’m not calling him Andy. That’s pathetic. What is he, a pre-schooler?”

“And there’s not a chance that you’re jealous?” Chris questioned.

Jensen was man enough to admit that he was a tiny bit jealous of Andrew and his fucking personality that for some reason everyone found attractive. Jensen thought he was a fucking prick. “Jared wants to include him in everything.”

“But Jared’s straight.”

Jensen bit his lip. “He may have admitted last year when he was very drunk that he’s occasionally bisexual. But he’s never showed any interest in guys, let alone me. I think it was a drunk, heat of the moment confession.”

“But then Andy comes along, and suddenly Jared wants to spend all of his time with him,” Chris summarized.

“If Jared is going to be with any guy, it should be _me_ ,” Jensen growled.

“Hey, Jen?”

“Yeah?”  
“Do you remember when you first called me and said that you fell in love with Jared, and that it was weird because Jared was sort of like a brother to you?”  
Jensen nodded even though Chris couldn’t see him. “I remember.”

“Well—and don’t bite my head off—it’s probably the same for Jared. He thinks of you as a brother, and this Andrew character is safe. Temporary. If Jared gets anything out of it, it will be a quick fuck and then he’ll toss him to the side lines,” Chris said.

“Jared’s not like that. He’s not a one-night stand guy, he’s a dinner and movie and _then_ sex guy. And Chris…” Jensen rubbed at his tired eyes. It’s been an exhausting week, mentally and physically. “Jared looks at Andrew in a way he’s never looked at me. I’m Jared’s friend, and he loves me, and we joke around and hang out. But he _looks_ at Andrew. Like no one else matters. Chris, Jared ignored _me_ when Andrew was around.”

Chris fell silent. “I’m sorry, kid.”

Jensen slumped on his chair. It was the comfiest chair in the house and Jensen didn’t even feel it. “Why can’t he love me?”

“Because as much as I like Jared, he’s a stupid motherfucker than can’t recognize a good thing when he’s got it.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Jensen hoped that one day he could actually believe the sentence.

*

“So, Morton’s tonight?” Jensen asked. Jared and Jensen always had dinner Friday night. It was their _thing_.

“Um, maybe tomorrow?” Jared replied. “I kind of have plans tonight.”

Jensen was completely baffled. That had never happened in their entire relationship. Jared blew off other people to hang out with Jensen. He’d never blown off Jensen _ever_. “With who?” Jensen already knew the answer.

“Andy,” Jared answered awkwardly. Jensen didn’t know who he wanted to punch more, Jared or Andrew.

“I’m busy tomorrow night,” Jensen lied. “Have fun with _Andy_.”

“You could come with,” Jared offered.

“I have a headache,” Jensen snapped. It was more of a heartache, really.

“Jensen-,”

Jensen stormed away to his trailer and slammed the door.

 ***

Jared wanted to run after Jensen when he stormed away. But when Jensen was angry, the best thing to do was give him space. Andy grinned and waved at him from the food tables. He gestured for Jared to join him, and Jared has never turned down food.

Andy has a familiar beam on his face when Jared sits down. His brow crinkles in concern when Jared’s returning smile is weak at best. “What’s wrong?”  
“Jensen and I had an argument,” Jared explained.

“About what?” Andy asked.

“About…” If Jared told Andy the real reason, Andy would want to cancel dinner and Jared was actually looking forward to this. “My dogs accidentally chewed up one of his best shoes.”

Andy chuckled. “I bet you two will be back to normal tomorrow. Jensen doesn’t seem like he can ever hold a grudge against you.”

Jared knew Jensen couldn’t, and it made Jared feel like an asshole because he never had to make up for it for Jensen to forgive him. “Brothers fight, right?”  
“Absolutely. Let me tell you about some of the fights I had with _my_ brother…”

*

Andy cleared his throat. They were at a steakhouse, but not Morton’s because that was Jensen and Jared’s place. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Anything,” Jared said.

“Is this two friends going out, or is this—is this more? Like, a date.” Andy was blushing and it was cute, but not as cute as Jensen. _Don’t think of Jensen now_.

Jared thought about it, and then he thought about his Get-Over-Jensen-As-Fast-As-Possible Plan, and decided that this was as good of a place to start as any. “I’d really love this to be a date.”  
Andy’s face lit up with a beautiful smile, and all Jared thought about was Jensen.

 ***

Jensen felt like an asshole. He was jealous and angry that Jared had blown him off for some stranger, and after he ranted to Kane for about an hour, he fell asleep fuming. But when he woke up, Jensen felt guilty for treating Jared badly because he was going out with another friend.

Jared was already sitting at the kitchen table with a mug of coffee. Another one sat across from Jared. Steam floated out of the mug and Jensen knew it was black and wonderful like Jensen liked it. “I’m sorry,” Jensen and Jared blurted at the same time.

Jared spoke first. “What do you have to be sorry for?”  
“I was a jerk. You don’t have to hang out with me all the time and I got pissed for no reason,” Jensen explained.

“I deserved it. There’s some leftover steak in the fridge if you want it,” Jared offered. It was a peace offering.

“Maybe later.” He sat across from Jared at the table and sipped the coffee.

“Also,” Jared shifted in his chair. “I have a date tonight. You said you were busy so I thought that I would go out. Yeah. I have a date.”

It felt like life sucker punched Jensen in the stomach. “That’s great, Jay. With who?”  
“Andy.”

Life didn’t punch Jensen. It beat the shit out of him.

*

“He’s on a _date_ ,” Jensen sneered. “With _Andy_. Precious little Andy, who everyone loves so much that they’re bringing him back for another episode. Even the fans love him! _My_ fans!”

“You’re gong a little overboard,” Chris told him.

“Some fucking guest star is stealing the love of my life!” Jensen shouted. “Some wannabe prick is stealing Jared away! I’m pissed off, and if you’re not going to side with me, then fuck you too, Kane!”

Jensen hung up angrily and didn’t answer when Chris called back. It was childish and stubborn, but every bone in Jensen’s body was angry and miserable. He never should have fallen in love with Jared. If he hadn’t, Jensen could be teasing Jared about his date instead of sulking his room and hoping that unfortunate circumstances made Andrew leave their lives forever.

“You stupid fucker,” Jensen snapped at a photo on his dresser. Jared had his arm around Jensen and kissed him playfully on the temple. Jensen was laughing with Jared’s antics, and the only people that existed in the world were each other. “Why did you have to make me fall in love with you?”

Jensen wanted to get drunk, but alcohol wouldn’t solve the problem. It would just make him hungover and cranky when he had to get up at 5 am and film for 16 hours. Then everyone would hate him and fall more in love with Andrew and celebrate his and Jared’s big happy gay love. A gay love that Jensen wasn’t included in.

Jared continued to go out on dates with Andrew, and Jensen continued to lie about being busy. A couple times Jared and Jensen went out together for coffee or burgers and instead of their easy chatter, conversation was silted and the silence was uncomfortable.

Jensen and Jared did, however, go out for dinner at Morton’s on Friday. They both ordered steaks and Jared got mashed potatoes while Jensen got a salad. Jared’s teasing at Jensen’s health kick was weak at best. Jensen forced a smile, but neither of them got any enjoyment out of it.

The steaks gave them a good reason to keep quiet. It wasn’t exactly flattering to converse with a mouth full of dead cow. There wasn’t any joking eye contact or laughter at the strange couple in the corner. It wasn’t JaredandJensen. It was Jared and Jensen, two co-stars who didn’t have anything in common except the fact that they worked on the same show. And the steak that was so good Jensen missed Texas tasted like air and ash. They split the tab instead of arguing about who was going to pay. They drove him in silence. They wished each other goodnight and went to bed.

Jensen didn’t cry, because Jensen doesn’t cry over heartbreak. But it was a damn near thing.

*

“We need to talk,” Jared pulled Jensen aside after filming. It was late and Jensen’s head pounded.

“Can it wait?”  
“No,” Jared retorted. Andrew waved goodbye to the two of them, and Jared shot him a bright grin while Jensen looked away. “See? That’s exactly what I want to talk about.”  
“What?” Jensen snapped. “That I have a fucking headache and for some reason you want to hash out our feelings? Can’t it at least wait until we’re at home and it’s not 10 degrees?”

“Fine,” Jared replied briskly. The walk to the car was fast, like they were racing each other. It wasn’t a contest of who would win. It was who would break first.

They were barely in the foyer when Jared turned on Jensen and started talking. “I want you to tell me what your problem is with Andy.”  
“I don’t have a problem with _Andrew_ ,” Jensen replied.

“Oh yeah?” Jared glared. “You never look at him, and if you do, you’re glaring. If looks could kill, my boyfriend would be dead!”

“Your _boyfriend_ is only going to be here for a few more days,” Jensen pointed out.

“He’s looking into apartments here.”  
That was the breaking point. It had been three weeks, _maybe_ , and they were already making plans to live close to each other? “Oh, good for you. I’m happy your life is so fucking well put together!”

“If you have something to say, then say it!” Jared demanded.

“Fine!” Jensen shouted. “I _don’t_ like Andrew. With you, it’s ‘Andy this’ and ‘Andy that’. I’m a little sick of hearing about your boyfriend. It’s like we’re not even friends anymore.”

“That’s _not my fault!_ ” Jared yelled back. “That’s _yours_! You sulk for days and don’t tell me what’s wrong. You act like you’re happy for me and then sneer at my boyfriend. You claim to be busy when I know you’re downstairs, talking to Kane or Danneel or whoever else you decide is more important than me.”

Jensen laughed harshly. “I’m the one blowing you off? I tried asking you to hang out, Jay! All the time!”

“And I already had plans with Andy,” Jared hurled back.

“Maybe I expected you to be a little flexible,” Jensen exclaimed. “Maybe I thought that if your best friend wanted to hang out, you’d say, ‘sorry, Andy, I need a rain check.’ Stupid of me to think that, huh?”

Jared sighed. “Listen, I’m tired. Go to sleep. We’ll talk about this more tomorrow.”  
_Like hell_. “Okay.”

“Goodnight, Jensen.”

The only response Jensen gave Jared was the slam of his door.

 ****

Jared knew that they wouldn’t be continuing the conversation. He wasn’t really surprised when Jensen feigned sleep on the drive to the set, or shut himself in the trailer until they filmed. Jensen was a brilliant actor and played Dean beautifully, but that’s all the emotion there was. Sam and Dean worked well together. Jensen didn’t meet Jared’s eyes unless the script called for it.

At the lunch break, Jensen made his way over to Jared with his mouth open, but Andy slid beside Jared and kissed him hello. When Jared looked up to invite Jensen over, his friend was gone.

They didn’t talk when they were at home, either. Jensen went straight to bed without acknowledging Jared’s call of goodnight. It was starting to piss Jared off, and it took a lot for Jensen to make Jared angry. Frustrated, maybe, but Jared didn’t think he’d ever been mad at Jensen. They were two halves of a whole. They were JaredandJensen. Not Jared and Jensen. It didn’t even feel like there was an and anymore. There was Jared. There was Jensen. And there wasn’t any them.

*

He and Andy hadn’t gone past handjobs and one messy blowjob in a McDonald’s bathroom stall. But Jared was cranky and upset and the only clear answer to fix that was sex.

Jensen was actually out that night instead of sulking in the bedroom and pretending to be too good to spend time with Jared. Andy arrived at 8:00, like he’d promised. Dinner was hurried and filled with tension. They both knew what they wanted. Jared was sick of feeling sorry for himself. Andy was his boyfriend and if Jared wanted to have sex with him then he goddamn would.

They turned a movie on but only a few minutes in, Jared had Andy on his back and they were kissing passionately. Kissing let to stripping, which let to them rubbing their two hard-ons against each other. “My pocket,” Andy groaned. Jared lunged to grab the condom and lube. He hadn’t really known whether he was or a top or a bottom, but Andy was already rolling the condom on Jared and fingering himself open.

With a nod from Andy, Jared started to push into the tight heat. It felt good, better than women, and Jared really should have had gay sex a long time ago. He regretted not experimenting beyond a few handjobs in college.

“Move,” Andy said. Jared complied, and over Andy’s loud moans he didn’t hear the door open.

But the loud shout of, “Are you fucking _kidding_ me, Jared?” didn’t escape Jared’s hearing.

Jared’s head jolted up and was met with Jensen’s eyes. Jensen’s furious, stormy, beautiful green eyes. And never in his entire life has Jared seen that much contempt directed at him from Jensen. It sent a chill through his bones. “I can explain.”  
“Don’t bother. I have an _awesome_ idea of what’s going on here.” Jensen turned to Andrew. “Unless you want to hear this get really ugly, get out of our house.”  
“It’s not your house!” Jared shouted. He regretted it the moment the words left his mouth but he was in too much shock to take them back. He didn’t mean them, of course he didn’t mean them.

Jensen looked like Jared took a knife and stabbed him in the chest, then twisted the knife and laughed in Jensen’s face. And if Jared was shocked by the anger on Jensen’s face, he wanted to die when he saw how hurt his friend looked. “Jen-,”

“You’re right,” Jensen cut off. “I’ll be gone in a few days.” He turned and spun out of the room.

“No, Jensen!” Jared shouted, but Jensen didn’t come back.

“Maybe we should do this some other time,” Andrew suggested. Jared had completely forgotten about him, which was strange because his dick—now completely soft—was still up Andy’s ass.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Andy smiled gently and got dressed. “I get it.”

“Jensen and I… we’re going through something right now,” Jared explained lamely.

Andy’s smile was sad. “I see exactly what you’re going through. And it’s okay. I’ll see you on set.” Jared leaned in for a kiss but Andy put a hand on his chest. “It was fun, Jared.”

Jared thinks he just got dumped.

And he’s pretty sure that Andrew broke up with him, too.

 *** 

Jensen didn’t understand pain before this. He’d had broken bones and sprained ankles and stubbed toes. He’d never experienced anything as excruciatingly painful as coming up to the love of his life fucking another guy on the couch, and then being told that Jensen didn’t even belong in the house.

Jensen promised himself that he’d never cry over heartbreak. But Jared Padalecki pushed his way inside Jensen’s heart and then tore it to pieces. Jared Padalecki broke every wall Jensen ever put him, broke every promise Jensen ever made himself.

Jensen crumpled to the bed and cried himself to sleep.

*

The first thing Jensen does when he wakes up is lock his door. The second thing is pull out as many suitcases as he has in his closet, which ends up to be a whopping total of two. They’re fairly big, though, and Jensen starts piling his things into the bags. Clothes go in first, the things that are absolutely necessary. His nice clothes go in next, folded neatly and smoothed out so there aren’t wrinkles. Trinkets that he’s collected over the years go to the bottom of the second suitcases. He removes all the photos of him and Jared and dumps the empty frames in. He can’t bring himself to tear up the photos, so he stuffs them under the bed.

There’s still a lot of shit scattered around the room, but maybe he can talk to Kim and have the director schedule individual scenes. When Jared’s acting, Jensen can come back and pick up the rest of his stuff.

Jensen realized he doesn’t have anywhere to go after this. He should call a hotel. But when he opens his phone, it’s not the hotel’s number he’s dialling.

Chris picks up after a few rings. “I’m still mad and you for hanging up on me last time.”  
“Chris.” His name comes out strangled and miserable.

“Jensen?” His voice is laced with concern. “Tell me what happened, kid.”

Jensen burst into tears. Again.

 ****

Jensen hasn’t come out from his bedroom in a long time. At least, not when Jared is up. He hears noise around midnight, the sound of wrappers crinkling. It makes Jared feel better. Jensen is miserable, but at least he’s eating. Jensen had been looking far too skinny for Jared’s liking.

At work, there are no Sam and Dean scenes. It’s all individual, or the editors are fixing lighting and Jensen doesn’t have to come in, or Jared has to be in makeup while Jensen is getting his hair done. Jared doesn’t think it’s a coincidence. Andy avoids him too, and then Aiden is killed off in a horrible fire. Jared should be sorry to see his ex-boyfriend go, but he just feels relieved.

*

Jared opens the door after someone rings the doorbell furiously. It’s not Jensen. Jared doesn’t even know if Jensen is home. He doesn’t hear rustling in the middle of the night, and he’s scared to go into Jensen’s room and see it barren.

It’s Christian Kane on the other side of the door. “Hi, Chris.”

Chris punches him in the face.

Jared doesn’t really recognize it for what it is until he’s sprawled on the ground with a horrible pain in the right side of his face. “You punched me, fucker!”

Chris hauled Jared to his feet and punched him on the other side of his face. “No. I punched you twice.” Chris dropped Jared back to the ground. It’s probably not an accident that Jared’s fingers are stepped on. “And I’d do a lot more than that if I could. Unfortunately, I’m on a bit of a time crunch.”

“Jensen’s not here,” Jared growled. His jaw hurt like a bitch.

Chris looked at him like he was a complete idiot. “You think I don’t know that? I just saw him on set. And before you ask, _no_ he hasn’t moved away from your sorry ass, against my advice. So tonight I’m taking him out to get drunk and hopefully laid.”  
“Oh, because I have sex Jensen has to as well?”

Chris narrowed his eyes. “I will put your ass on the ground again, Padalecki. You made Jensen cry.”

The words were like arrows to Jared’s heart. “I didn’t mean to.”  
“Fuck if you didn’t _mean_ to. You _did_. The last time he cried like that… hell, I don’t know! I’ve known him for years and I’ve never seen him as cut up as he is now. So fuck you, Jared Padalecki. Burn in hell.”

“Did you come over here to make me feel bad?” Jared asked. “Because I already feel pretty awful. I lost my best friend and then my boyfriend dumped me-,”  
Chris laughed cruelly. “Oh, _you_ feel awful? Let me tell you a story, Padalecki. Jensen called me a few years ago and said he had this ridiculous co-star who’s funny and bright and he wants to be friends with for the rest of his life. And then he calls me a few months after that and tells me that he’s fallen in love with said co-star. And then I get calls telling me about how much he wishes that co-star loved him back. And then he calls and says that the co-star, who was Jensen’s best friend and the love of his life, is ditching him for the guest star. And then what do you know? They’re dating. And Jensen’s pining, because he feels completely alone up here in Vancouver. And he sulks and hopes that things get better but they don’t.

“And then he comes home to that co-star banging his boyfriend on the couch, and then that fucking asshole of a co-star tells Jensen that the first place he’s called home in months isn’t actually his home. So he loses his best friend, his secret love, and his house all in one grand swoop.” Chris finished angrily. “I don’t feel any remorse for your pain, Padalecki. None at all.”

Jared tried to process that. “I loved him too.”

Chris raised an eyebrow. “Be specific before I decide to punch you again.”

“I fell in love with him the moment I saw him but I thought he was _straight_.” Jared ran a hand through his hair. “I never would have done that if I’d known he loved me back.”  
“Why did you tell him?” Chris exclaimed.

“Jensen could have told me!” Jared shot back. He knew that never would have happened. He loved Jensen and knew that Jensen feared rejection, especially from the people he loved. Jensen never would have made the first move, and Jared cause him all sorts of unimaginable pain. “I have to go.”

*

If Jensen was filming, he couldn’t storm off in an angry rage. Jensen might refuse to talk to him. If Jared was Jensen, that’s what he would probably do.

Jensen was in the middle of a scene when Jared tumbled onto set. Jensen didn’t notice him so Jared crept up silently. None of the production crew looked at him. Jared could pretend that they ignored him so Jared could better sneak up on Jensen, but their stiff postures and turned down lips told Jared that they’d seen Jensen and correctly assumed who’d made him miserable.

“Cut!” Kim Manners shouted. “Good scene, Ackles. Take 10.”

Jensen wiped the sweat from his forehead and jogged off the set directly to where Jared waited. Jensen was watching the ground until Jared cleared his throat. Jensen’s eyes jumped to Jared’s and be looked too surprised to be mad. “Jared.”

“Can we talk?”

“We tried that,” Jensen replied. Frustration started to creep into his tone. “You fucked your boyfriend on the couch instead.”

It wasn’t a totally accurate description of the events, but Jared wasn’t going to get mad at Jensen again. “Can we talk after work? No boyfriends, no yelling. Just you and me.”

“Fine. I’ll see you at home.” Jensen sounded angry but Jared counted it as a win.

*

“I need to ask you something,” Jared started. “Any if you answer it, I swear I’ll leave you alone. If you want.”

Jensen nodded slowly. “Okay.”

Jared took a deep breath. “I love you. Don’t interrupt me, please. I fell in love the first moment I saw you but I never thought that you were—I mean, I thought you were straight. So yeah. I dated Andy. But I never stopped loving you. I still love you. Just tell me, please. Do you love me too?”  
“What a speech,” Jensen drawled.

“That’s not an answer.”

“Yes, okay?” Jensen sent him a venomous look. “I love you. Even though you’re a complete asshole and—hmph!”

Jared couldn’t help himself; he’d pressed his lips again Jensen’s in a furious kiss. Jensen didn’t push him off, but his lips remained soft and unmoving. Jared pulled off momentarily. “Kiss me back,” Jared pleaded. “Kiss me back.”

Jared kissed Jensen again and felt Jensen’s plus lips respond. It was gentle and kind and everything Jared wanted his first kiss with Jensen to be like. “Jay.”  
Jared nuzzled into his neck. “You make me crazy.”

Jensen pulled him back into a kiss. “You better not be fucking with me.”  
“Never.” Jared let Jensen devour his mouth and drowned in the kiss.  
“Fuck me,” Jensen moaned.

“Jen, are you sure?” Jared asked. “We can wait-,”  
“I’ve waited long enough,” Jensen cut off. Jared could happily get on board with this plan.

He and Jensen tripped over each other to get into the bedroom. Clothes fell off in a flurry and soon Jared had Jensen writhing under him on the bed. “Fuck me!” Jensen growled. “I didn’t come here so you could tease me.”

“Whatever you want.” Jared didn’t remove his mouth from Jensen’s when he reached to grab the lube, rolling his boyfriend—possibly—with him. He slicked up his fingers and started stretching Jensen roughly.

“Jared,” Jensen started. “I’ve never done this before.”  
“S’okay,” Jared shushed. “I’m gonna take care of you.”

His movements turned gentle and Jensen whimpered and pushed into Jared’s kisses. When Jared had smeared his cock with lube and pressed the tip against his entrance, he said, “If it hurts, you stop me, okay Jen?”

Jensen nodded and pushed his ass into Jared. “Do it.”

Jared complied, and when Jensen’s erection started to flag under tha pain, Jared licked at his neck and stroked Jensen’s cock gently. “Shh, baby, it’s okay.”

When Jared was all the way in, he moaned. It was a thousand times better than anything he’d ever felt before. A million times better because this was _Jensen_ , the love of Jared’s life.

They fucked slow and passionately. Both of them had sweat dripping off their bodies and mingling with each other. Jared rolled and thrust his hips against Jensen’s prostate and ran his hand over and over Jensen’s cock. Jensen became a whining, moaning mess and came against both of their stomachs. Jared followed quickly and collapsed on Jensen.

“Best sex ever,” Jared mumbled.

 ****

“Falling asleep on me, darlin’?” Jensen lifted Jared’s chin. Jensen always imagined bottoming would hurt, but Jared made his first time absolutely perfect. His limbs felt like jelly.

“No.” Jared rolled off Jensen put quickly pulled the other man into his arms.

Yes, Jared made Jensen break his promises. But maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing.

**Author's Note:**

> If you have a kink or prompt, comment on one of the stories! AN: If you've submitted a prompt and it's not posted, don't worry, i have it on my list and i'm working through them all :)


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